Assalamu alikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakato,may Allah's peace,mercy and blessings be upon u
welcome to my first blog :) "i stole the idea from fady to be honest" lool
as a start i'm a 21 yrs old egyptian muslimah alhamedulilah born in saudia but left to Egypt when i was about 5 yrs old i've like everyone on the planet some troubles in my life but the one that irritates me the most and really destroying my life is my weight problem sadly i've always been over wieght always the biggest one among my family ,relatives and friends some may say so what u eat alot u deserve what happens to u yeah that what i've been hearing all my life people tend to blame instead of trying to help they see a person who is over weight in the street or in college or in any place they point at him/her and make jokes about it thinking that's funny thinking that maybe that way he/she will stop eating and become more healthier but the opposite thing happens thatperson who's overweight when he/she hear the jokes and the whispering he/she will just become more sad and depressed and in most cases eat more than they usually do
u may say omg then they're stupid that's just because u r not in their position u don't know what's going on with their lives u don't know how much they're suffering each day no every minute
do u really think that the overweight person loves to eat alot just because he/she loves food? no not in most cases not in my case too
food is for some people the only thing that comforts them and give them some moments of peace and happiness especially those who live is homes that have so may troubles and arguements and indifference those who dont have anyone to care about them and be kind to them and take their hand and give them a peaceful environment to live in
no one wants to live his/her lives doing nothing but eating no one wants to live his whole life on the outside looking in no one wants to live his life knowing very well in his heart that he's a loser that he has no life no friends nothing even his own parents feel ashamed of him and don't want to be seen with him in public no one want to live his life in fear from looking in the mirror because
he doesn' 't want to see how he looks like in fear of facing the sad truth
for me as i said before i've always been overweight i don't know my exact weight now i stopped weighing myself long ago because everytime i did i became more depressed as i always weigh more than last time its really really terrible to be overweight it made me see my life crash and burn before my eyes always been the biggest the ugliest and always been a good topic in family meetings yeah imagine in eid i go to visit my relatives and enjoy the eid with them "and take presents ofcourse" and my aunts as soon as they give me the present they start talking about my weight and telling me how ugly and terrible i look and remind me that 'i'm old now and if i continued my life like that no man will ever think about marrying me or even looking at me and ofcourse they mention the huge medical crisises that will happen to me in the future
i know its true and i know they say that cause they care but to tell me that on eid and on every time they see my face and infront of everyone in the family omg man that's so depressing i know all that already u don't have to keep reminding me of it its making me sad all year long u don't have to destroy my EID too :( hmmm
i don't know what to do anymore i can't live like that forever my weight is destroying every single aspect of my life don't tell me follow a diet or i keel u it would take me yrs to lose all that weight by following a diet besides to be honest i don't have that strong will and patience not because i love food so much and can't stop eating but because for all my life i turned to food as my comfort with food i can steal some happy moments away from evil people and evil life there're some issues in my life that is turning my life into living hell and with food i can get over them even if it was for just few moments and when u r so miserable and finally find something that makes u happy u will want more of it to make u happier right? sadly in my case that thing was food:( i thought it was making me happy while actually it was stealing away my life and my health i really don't know what to do i can't keep living like that its so painful :'( i'm considering making a gastric bypass surgery it seems like a good and a quick solution for my problem but its also a bit dangerous and has some serious side effects:S hmm
one of the main reasons that i wrote that is because its good to talk about what bothering u and second is maybe maybe someone someday will read it and try to change his/her life if they're overweight and start a more healthy life
make duaas for me and please if u know a person in ur family who is overweight or if u r overweight please make help in making a change in ur or their lives help them try to be their friend not the judge don't tell them stop eating but ask them why they're eating ?what r they running away from?help them and help urself and if u see a person in the street or in anyplace don't make fun of him i swear it hurts sooooooo bad so please don't always try to positive
may Allah swt help me and make the surgery easy and simple for me ameen
thanks for reading:) jazakom Allah all kheir
